Posts from 2015 (Page 3)
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Explain New Approaches Before You Start
• • • • • Parenting Tip April 30, 2015 Explain New Approaches Before You Start When you decide to change your approach to a particular problem you see in your children, explain to them what you’re going to do. This may sound obvious but sometimes parents get fed up with a particular problem and then surprise the child with changes. Each parent has an action point that determines the rules of the game for both parent and child in…
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The Real Issues are Harder to See
• • • • • Parenting Tip April 15, 2015 The Real Issues are Harder to See Parents who only focus on behavior change are devastated when their children reveal unresolved issues of the heart as they grow older. The child who is found stealing from the family, the teenager who gets caught drinking with friends, or the young person who starts using drugs have one thing in common: a heart problem that has developed over time. The heart consists…
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The Solution Isn’t Just Bigger Consequences
• • • • • Parenting Tip April 1, 2015 The Solution Isn’t Just Bigger Consequences Some problems that children face are more difficult than others. Annoying behavior, irresponsibility, habitual teasing, and forgetfulness are just a few examples. Out of frustration, some parents think that the child needs bigger and bigger consequences. They believe that the bigger the consequence, the faster the change. Remember that the goal is a changed heart, not just punishment for doing wrong. A bigger consequence…
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Firmness with Relationship
• • • • • Parenting Tip March 26, 2015 Firmness with Relationship Children and parents should be friends, but don’t let that desire weaken your limit-setting. One mom of three teens said, “I used to feel bad when I had to say ‘No’ because I thought they’d be mad at me. Now I’ve learned to make a decision and enforce it because it’s the right thing to do. They may get angry, but I have to do it because…
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A Peacemaker or a Troublemaker?
• • • • • Parenting Tip March 21, 2015 A Peacemaker or a Troublemaker? A good way to help children overcome the problem of anger is to teach them how to be peacemakers instead of troublemakers. Anyone can get angry and most people do. Few are mature enough to be peacemakers. Being a peacemaker helps to break down anger in one’s self and in others. Peacemakers seek to bring people together in agreement and look for solutions where everyone…
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When Kids Tend to Blame Others
• • • • • Parenting Tip March 18, 2015 When Kids Tend to Blame Others Isn’t it amazing that some children seem to be able to see every factor that went into their current problem except their own part in it? Indeed, some kids have a problem blaming others and not taking responsibility for their part of the problem. In the child’s mind, it’s always someone else’s fault. These children have the ability to see all kinds of reasons…
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Persevering in Communication
• • • • • Parenting Tip March 4, 2015 Persevering in Communication Some parents lose their desire to communicate on a deeper level because their children reject their opinions, feelings, or initiative. That hurts. It may take a while for your children to see you’re trying to connect in significant ways. You may have to discipline a child for insensitivity or meanness, but continue to explain to your kids what you’re doing. Children often resist love when they need…
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Building Closeness
• • • • • Parenting Tip February 25, 2015 Building Closeness Parents must maintain a balance as they work with their kids. Firmness, confrontation, and correction in a child’s life are tools that God uses to address heart issues. You won’t get very far, however, by simply telling your children the right thing to do. Remember that a child can only take as much pressure as the relationship can withstand. Those who apply force without relationship end up with…
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Understanding Level 2 Thinking
• • • • • Parenting Tip February 20, 2015 Understanding Level 2 Thinking The development of the conscience helps children live on two levels of thinking at the same time. Life isn’t only about playing with a toy, eating food, or taking care of oneself. When teaching responsibility, every activity has a second dimension. Children learn to watch the clock, monitor their own fairness, and think about how their current action affects others. We call that level two thinking.…
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How Can I Get My Children to Take Initiative?
• • • • • Parenting Tip February 10, 2015 How Can I Get My Children to Take Initiative? Prodding kids along to get things done drains family life. We all know it. If only kids could see what needs to be done and take some initiative! Is it possible to train children to act without the continual pushing and prodding from parents? We say Yes! It is possible but it doesn’t typically happen without some intentional work. In the…