Articles (Page 16)

The Gratefulness Principle

• • • • • Parenting Tip November 19, 2012 The Gratefulness Principle Gratitude increases closeness in relationships. As you parent your children, look for opportunities to take advantage of gratefulness to draw closer to your kids. Give your children small gifts of love day after day. Be careful, though, that you don’t confuse the gratefulness principle with the overindulgence trap. Some parents, wanting their children to like them, recognize giving gifts opens the heart, so they overdo it by…

A Budding Leader

Parenting Tip November 14, 2012   A Budding Leader   The early signs of a budding leader are often things like determination, resourcefulness, and persistence. Unfortunately, some children demonstrate these qualities in ways that create conflict and resistance. They often argue relentlessly, have their own agenda, are stubborn, and expect others to do what they want. Budding leaders are often known for their ability to see how others, including parents, should fit into their goals and objectives. Although those qualities…

Tasks, Problems, Conflict

• • • • • Parenting Tip November 10, 2012   Tasks, Problems, Conflict   One way to avoid emotional outbursts with our children is to understand the difference between tasks, problems, and conflict. Tasks are the normal things parents do each day. You get kids out of bed, make sure they’re dressed, provide breakfast, check that they have all the things they’ll need for the day, and get out the door. Then you’ll stop by the drug store to…

Teaching Cooperation

• • • • • Parenting Tip November 8, 2012   Teaching Cooperation We all want cooperation from our children. Many parents are disappointed when they don’t get it, but do we take time to teach it? Cooperation involves give and take. As parents, we are more than willing to give, expecting that our children will give sometimes too. Unfortunately, some children don’t know how to give; they only take. Any negotiation has to have something in it for the…

Group Offenses Around Character Qualities

• • • • • Parenting Tip October 30, 2012 Group Offenses Around Character Qualities When you feel overwhelmed by the poor behavior of your children, here’s an exercise that will give you some direction. In fact, this activity is good for any parent looking for ways to help children grow, but it’s especially helpful when you’re confused and overwhelmed by a problem’s complexity or deeply rooted nature. Take out some paper and make a list of the offenses committed…

When Addressing Sibling Conflict, Discipline Kids Separately

• • • • • Parenting Tip October 27, 2012   When Addressing Sibling Conflict, Discipline Kids Separately   One of the most challenging aspects of family life is sibling conflict. You want your children to have close relationships but differing personalities, competitiveness, and immaturity often gets in the way. Conflict between brothers and sisters is a child’s first class in relationship school. Your home is the classroom, you are the teacher, and a healthy plan for working on conflict…

Use Anger to Spark Creativity

• • • • • Parenting Tip October 21, 2012 Use Anger to Spark Creativity We say, “Anger is good for identifying problems but not good for solving them.” Once you become aware of a problem, look for a more creative and productive way to solve it. When parents choose to reflect only anger, they limit themselves dramatically. Families benefit when they experiment with other emotional options as well. Marilyn surprised her eight-year-old son after he put his feet on…

Slow Down the Emotion

• • • • • Parenting Tip October 18, 2012 Slow Down the Emotion When the emotion starts increasing in your interactions, it’s time to slow down the process. One mom said, “I feel a lot of intensity and tend to react without thinking. It’s as if my emotions have the ability to bypass my brain. It takes work to understand what’s actually going on. I’m learning to slow down and think more about what I’m feeling. I’m making progress…

You Don’t Want to Raise a People Pleaser

• • • • • Parenting Tip October 14, 2012 You Don’t Want to Raise a People Pleaser Many children grow up in homes where parents react with explosive anger. These children learn to make decisions based on avoiding the next angry outburst. Unfortunately they then may grow up to be people pleasers. Anger appears to work in the short run. It gets kids moving or motivates them to stop and listen. But in the end, it damages a child’s…