When Addressing Sibling Conflict, Discipline Kids Separately
• • • • • Parenting Tip May 2, 2013 When Addressing Sibling Conflict, Discipline Kids Separately One of the most challenging aspects of family life is sibling conflict. You want your children to have close relationships but differing personalities, competitiveness, and immaturity often get in the way. Conflict between brothers and sisters is a child’s first class in relationship school. Your home is the classroom, you are the teacher, and a healthy plan for working on conflict is the…
Tasks, Problems, Conflict
• • • • • Parenting Tip April 22, 2013 Tasks, Problems, Conflict One way to avoid emotional outbursts with our children is to understand the difference between tasks, problems, and conflict. Tasks are the normal things parents do each day. You get kids out of bed, make sure they’re dressed, provide breakfast, check that they have all the things they’ll need for the day, and get out the door. Then you’ll stop by the drug store to pick up…
Kids Struggle in Different Ways
• • • • • Parenting Tip April 17, 2013 Kids Struggle in Different Ways Some children struggle with things externally, acting out, getting in trouble at school or with the law, and disobeying their parents. Through these actions they often learn valuable life lessons. It’s not the best way to learn, and the experiences they face are often unforgiving and painful. Other children may conform to the rules outwardly, but inside they’re wrestling just as fervently—and significantly—as the outwardly…
Teaching Through Decision Making
• • • • • Parenting Tip April 12, 2013 Teaching Through Decision Making Families make decisions and solve problems on a daily basis. Parents must make some decisions, and in those cases children need to learn to follow. At other times parents can involve children and help them make wise choices. Money, for example, provides opportunities for children to make decisions. Parents can teach children how to save, be generous, and plan for purchases. In one family, Kari, age…
Is there a Difference Between Honor and Respect?
• • • • • Parenting Tip April 3, 2013 Is there a Difference Between Honor and Respect? When families think about honor, they often restrict their thinking to respectful behavior, being polite, courteous, and having good manners. This is a rather narrow understanding and is only a small portion of what honor actually is. Respectful behavior, although a subset of honor, is incomplete in and of itself. Susie learned manners at an early age. “What a nice girl,” people…
Helping Children Take Responsibility – Part 2
• • • • • Parenting Tip March 27, 2013 Helping Children Take Responsibility – Part 2 During a discipline time, asking your children, “What did you do wrong?” can help them learn to take responsibility for their actions. Sometimes children don’t even know what they did wrong. You may have to tell your child, but don’t just say it and have your child agree, actually have the child repeat back to you what was wrong and take responsibility for…
Patterns in Family Life
• • • • • Parenting Tip March 16, 2013 Patterns in Family Life A busy father comes home from work hoping to relax with his wife and enjoy his children. Instead, he walks into a land mine of relational issues. Children are bickering and Mom is frazzled. Even the dog has retreated to a quieter room in the house. Likewise, a mom comes home from work wanting to share a couple of interesting stories with her family only to…
Be a Coach to Your Children
• • • • • Parenting Tip March 13, 2013 Be a Coach to Your Children I’m sure that as you look around you see other families who have rather interesting relationships with their kids. Some parents seem to have a boss/servant relationship with their children, as if the parents own their kids. They order them around as if they were slaves, being demanding about obedience and respect. Others act like a policeman allowing children to do anything they want…
A Clear Warning
• • • • • Parenting Tip March 9, 2013 A Clear Warning One of the tools of discipline is a clear warning. It can actually be a teaching tool because it helps children know how to anticipate consequences of their actions. Furthermore a clear warning clarifies for your children that what you have said wasn’t just a suggestion, but that you meant business. When you give a warning, it’s important to obtain eye contact, speak calmly but firmly, and…
Giving Instructions Clearly
• • • • • Parenting Tip February 28, 2013 Giving Instructions Clearly We’ve all found ourselves in situations where adults are supervising children. Some adults have the ability to command attention and get children to listen better than others. All they use is what we call a Firm Instruction, a very important part of the discipline process. A Firm Instruction is quite useful whether you’re working with your own children or someone else’s. Good discipline doesn’t just mean finding…