Parenting Tips (Page 3)
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My Child Is Just Going Through The Motions
Parenting Tip June 8, 2015 My Child Is Just Going Through The Motions Sometimes children learn to go through the motions to just get through a discipline experience. They’ll parrot the answers that they know you want to hear. You know that helping them change their hearts is the right thing to do, but you don’t seem to be getting anywhere. What do you do? “The answer must be bigger consequences.” That tends to be what parents think of first,…
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“Why do you do what’s right?”
• • • • • Parenting Tip June 4, 2015 “Why do you do what’s right?” It’s fun to ask this question of children. When you ask, “Why do you do what’s right?” the common answer from kids is, “So I don’t get in trouble.” That’s when you can take them to Romans 13:5 which says, “Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience.” Punishment is external. Conscience…
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The Importance of Visioning
• • • • • Parenting Tip May 22, 2015 The Importance of Visioning Take a few minutes and imagine what your children will be like as adults. Some parents have immediate thoughts of terror and doom, but instead, look at the good qualities your children have and imagine how those qualities will benefit them later in life. Then share those observations with your children. Visioning is an important part of parenting, in fact, we see it as one of…
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Look for Positive Qualities Misused
• • • • • Parenting Tip May 27, 2015 Look for Positive Qualities Misused All children have good character qualities that, when taken to the extreme, have a negative side. One child may be quite organized, but if not careful, may become inflexible in a less structured situation. It’s like the saying, “your strength can be your greatest weakness.” One mom told about her son who had a genuine sensitivity to others’ needs. He was compassionate and cared for…
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Drawing the Line on Tattling
• • • • • Parenting Tip May 15, 2015 Drawing the Line on Tattling Tattling is one way that children point out problems rather than trying to make things better. It’s important to teach children what offenses they should report to a parent and what they should try to resolve on their own or just ignore. Parents need to know when property or people are in danger, but much of the daily infractions or mistakes made fall into a…
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Explain New Approaches Before You Start
• • • • • Parenting Tip April 30, 2015 Explain New Approaches Before You Start When you decide to change your approach to a particular problem you see in your children, explain to them what you’re going to do. This may sound obvious but sometimes parents get fed up with a particular problem and then surprise the child with changes. Each parent has an action point that determines the rules of the game for both parent and child in…
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The Real Issues are Harder to See
• • • • • Parenting Tip April 15, 2015 The Real Issues are Harder to See Parents who only focus on behavior change are devastated when their children reveal unresolved issues of the heart as they grow older. The child who is found stealing from the family, the teenager who gets caught drinking with friends, or the young person who starts using drugs have one thing in common: a heart problem that has developed over time. The heart consists…
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The Solution Isn’t Just Bigger Consequences
• • • • • Parenting Tip April 1, 2015 The Solution Isn’t Just Bigger Consequences Some problems that children face are more difficult than others. Annoying behavior, irresponsibility, habitual teasing, and forgetfulness are just a few examples. Out of frustration, some parents think that the child needs bigger and bigger consequences. They believe that the bigger the consequence, the faster the change. Remember that the goal is a changed heart, not just punishment for doing wrong. A bigger consequence…
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Firmness with Relationship
• • • • • Parenting Tip March 26, 2015 Firmness with Relationship Children and parents should be friends, but don’t let that desire weaken your limit-setting. One mom of three teens said, “I used to feel bad when I had to say ‘No’ because I thought they’d be mad at me. Now I’ve learned to make a decision and enforce it because it’s the right thing to do. They may get angry, but I have to do it because…
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A Peacemaker or a Troublemaker?
• • • • • Parenting Tip March 21, 2015 A Peacemaker or a Troublemaker? A good way to help children overcome the problem of anger is to teach them how to be peacemakers instead of troublemakers. Anyone can get angry and most people do. Few are mature enough to be peacemakers. Being a peacemaker helps to break down anger in one’s self and in others. Peacemakers seek to bring people together in agreement and look for solutions where everyone…