Church Blog (Page 2)

  Consistency is Overrated! “That is the most freeing statement I’ve heard in a long time.” That’s what one mom said when we freed her from the guilt she experienced because she couldn’t always be consistent. She continued, “It makes so much sense now. Thank you.” Here’s what we told her. If you’re doing simple behavior modification then consistency is essential. Giving the reward or punishment every time you see the behavior will reinforce change. But if you’re using a…

  Understanding Tasks, Problems, and Conflict One way to avoid emotional outbursts with our children is to understand the difference between tasks, problems, and conflict. Tasks are the normal things parents do each day. You get kids out of bed, make sure they’re dressed, provide breakfast, check that they have all the things they’ll need for the day, and get out the door. Then you’ll stop by the drug store to pick up the prescription and drop by the library…

What Can a Child’s Emotions Tell You? Since the heart is where decisions are formed, commitments made, and beliefs established, your child’s emotions become an opportunity for parenting. Look for ways to use your children’s emotions to help you understand their hearts. Don’t Be Afraid of Emotions Many parents are afraid of their children’s emotions and try to minimize them. It’s true that one parental responsibility is to help our children manage their feelings effectively. But, contrary to popular belief,…

  Honor is Like Giving a Gift When was the last time you received a surprise? Don’t just think about the big surprises like a birthday gift, but think of the little ones, like an unexpected thank you or an encouraging word from someone you appreciate. It’s those little surprises in life that give a real lift to our days. Honor does the same thing. It gives more than what’s expected. It adds energy to relationships and the result is…

When Kids Don’t Listen and Follow Instructions Brandon is nine years old. When his mom gives him an instruction he often turns it into a discussion. He asks why he has to do it and offers ideas about why the task isn’t important anyway. Mom finds herself explaining, arguing, and nagging. Jenny is thirteen years old and has a similar problem when her parents tell her that she can’t go to the party on Friday night, or can’t go to…

  Are Today’s Kids More Self-Centered than Previous Generations? “If you get your homework done then you can go out and play.” “If you clean your room then you can watch a video.” Sound familiar? Many parents today use a simple behavior modification approach to raise their children. This approach basically says, “If you do what I say, I’ll give you what you want.” Unfortunately, children trained this way often develop a “What’s in it for me?” mentality. “If I…

        How can you tell the difference between defiance and impulsivity? Sometimes the line is fuzzy, but the biggest factor has to do with awareness. The child exhibiting annoying behavior is often not aware of what he’s doing or doesn’t have a good repertoire of socially appropriate behaviors. Some parents believe that because they said, “stop tapping” yesterday, today’s tapping must be defiance. This may not be the case. Training is the Key Children often engage in impulsive or annoying…

        Is Arguing a Good Quality? Children who argue have good character qualities like persistence, perseverance, determination, creativity, and an ability to communicate their ideas. The problem with arguing is that your child views you as an obstacle, a mountain to tunnel through. The child who argues often lacks sensitivity, humility, and a proper respect for authority. Your challenge as a parent is to encourage the positive qualities and remove the negative ones. When you sense that your child has…

One Fact About Lying That Will Help You With Your Kids This one truth can help you deal with lying in your kids: Dishonesty always occurs under pressure.  Kids need internal character to combat the external pressure. For example, some lie to escape punishment. They fear what might happen if they tell the truth, so they try to protect themselves. Children sometimes think that lying is the easy way out, but, in fact, it often makes life more difficult. The…

When Your Kids Get Hurt, Should You Comfort Them? Your child is running and all of a sudden falls down with a smack on the sidewalk. What do you do? Do you rush over and pick him up? Or do you say, “You’re okay. Get up and try again?” Or how about just looking away and waiting to see if he recovers on his own? All of those are reasonable responses and each might be effective depending on the moment.…