Why Transparency with Kids is Important
Why Transparency with Kids is Important “Why are you sad, Mom?” Cheryl was trying to recover from the upsetting news she received at work. She didn’t get the promotion she had hoped for. But that wasn’t her daughter’s problem. Should she put on a happy face or share the situation with her nine-year-old? In this case, Cheryl’s daughter often moped around when she was disappointed so Cheryl decided this might be a helpful time to be transparent. “I didn’t get…
When a Child Tends to Badger
• • • • • Parenting Tip June 15, 2015 When a Child Tends to Badger A badger is a burrowing animal with an amazing amount of persistence. Badgers have extraordinary physical strength and a tenacious approach to life’s challenges. Many children are like badgers when they can’t accept a “no” answer from their parents. These children badger parents in an attempt to reverse the decision. Children who badger usually have dominating personalities and confident persistence, challenging anyone who blocks…
My Child Is Just Going Through The Motions
Parenting Tip June 8, 2015 My Child Is Just Going Through The Motions Sometimes children learn to go through the motions to just get through a discipline experience. They’ll parrot the answers that they know you want to hear. You know that helping them change their hearts is the right thing to do, but you don’t seem to be getting anywhere. What do you do? “The answer must be bigger consequences.” That tends to be what parents think of first,…
“Why do you do what’s right?”
• • • • • Parenting Tip June 4, 2015 “Why do you do what’s right?” It’s fun to ask this question of children. When you ask, “Why do you do what’s right?” the common answer from kids is, “So I don’t get in trouble.” That’s when you can take them to Romans 13:5 which says, “Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience.” Punishment is external. Conscience…
The Importance of Visioning
• • • • • Parenting Tip May 22, 2015 The Importance of Visioning Take a few minutes and imagine what your children will be like as adults. Some parents have immediate thoughts of terror and doom, but instead, look at the good qualities your children have and imagine how those qualities will benefit them later in life. Then share those observations with your children. Visioning is an important part of parenting, in fact, we see it as one of…
Look for Positive Qualities Misused
• • • • • Parenting Tip May 27, 2015 Look for Positive Qualities Misused All children have good character qualities that, when taken to the extreme, have a negative side. One child may be quite organized, but if not careful, may become inflexible in a less structured situation. It’s like the saying, “your strength can be your greatest weakness.” One mom told about her son who had a genuine sensitivity to others’ needs. He was compassionate and cared for…
Drawing the Line on Tattling
• • • • • Parenting Tip May 15, 2015 Drawing the Line on Tattling Tattling is one way that children point out problems rather than trying to make things better. It’s important to teach children what offenses they should report to a parent and what they should try to resolve on their own or just ignore. Parents need to know when property or people are in danger, but much of the daily infractions or mistakes made fall into a…
Explain New Approaches Before You Start
• • • • • Parenting Tip April 30, 2015 Explain New Approaches Before You Start When you decide to change your approach to a particular problem you see in your children, explain to them what you’re going to do. This may sound obvious but sometimes parents get fed up with a particular problem and then surprise the child with changes. Each parent has an action point that determines the rules of the game for both parent and child in…
The Real Issues are Harder to See
• • • • • Parenting Tip April 15, 2015 The Real Issues are Harder to See Parents who only focus on behavior change are devastated when their children reveal unresolved issues of the heart as they grow older. The child who is found stealing from the family, the teenager who gets caught drinking with friends, or the young person who starts using drugs have one thing in common: a heart problem that has developed over time. The heart consists…
The Solution Isn’t Just Bigger Consequences
• • • • • Parenting Tip April 1, 2015 The Solution Isn’t Just Bigger Consequences Some problems that children face are more difficult than others. Annoying behavior, irresponsibility, habitual teasing, and forgetfulness are just a few examples. Out of frustration, some parents think that the child needs bigger and bigger consequences. They believe that the bigger the consequence, the faster the change. Remember that the goal is a changed heart, not just punishment for doing wrong. A bigger consequence…